Stress and Mixed Age Groups

I heard from a Mother/Care Provider recently who was becoming "burnt out." The message I heard was "How can I care for younger children and at the same time keep the school age child I care for entertained? We have been taking trips to the park, visiting the "jumpy houses." Now he's been saying he's bored. I don't know how to keep every one happy. I'm so stressed out!"

This is my experience with mixed age groups; It can be challenging. If you have one older child and 2-3 preschool/toddlers, your school ager might become dependent on you to entertain him/her.

Here are some ideas that might work:
1. Take good care of yourself first. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. Make some time during your waking hours to do for yourself. Even something little like playing the music YOU like while you're with the children, taking up a hobby in your free time, joining a gym or what ever pleases you the most. You wont have anything to give anyone else if you have given it all away. Have a good support network of friends to share your day with when things get tough; if you do not, try journaling -- its a nice release.

2. Explain to your school age child in care that there will be times during the day when you are not going to be available to "play" because the younger children who cannot tend to their own needs need you. This is not to say you wont be there, it is just that you're asking this person to understand your responsibilities. Life is not always about entertainment. You can let this person know that their will be active and quiet times through our each day.

3. Ask your school ager to pack an activity bag from home for the quiet times during the day. this can include books, lessons/homework, and other toys that you and the parents have okay'd.

4. Encourage your older child to assist you; lead an activity; pass out snack; host a circle time, or ask him if he would like to read the children a book or help them with a book-on-tape. This gives him leadership skills and builds empathy. Let the parents of the child know that this is your goal, they're sure to appreciate it.

5. If you have an opportunity, invite or enroll a child of the same age and same sex. Developmentally speaking, school age children gravitate toward their own sex when choosing friend. Peers are begining to become an important part of their lives as independent individuals. In turn, this will not only build a friendship between them, but take a little pressure off of you to be the "entertainer."

6. Ask family members what interests this child. Ask the child himself. Books on subjects that entertain him can be purchased or checked out from the library. Craft sets, model sets,
games, puzzles.

Last summer I began enrolling school-aged children. I found out first hand by trial and error what worked for me and the individuals who attended. We made soap (when the toddlers were taking a nap), Beaded safety pins and strung them onto an elastic band (this was a great one--that engaged them for at least 2 hours).

It's not always easy to say exactly what will work. When you observe and connect with the parents you can tailor your activities to meet the needs of everyone in the group.